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17 July 2010 @ 11:19 pm
[fic] ygo; kaiba/jounouchi -- the autumn & winter of my life  
Title: The winter of my life (and somehow I've left you behind)
Author: konnistique
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh DM
Pairing: Kaiba/Jounouchi
Length: One-shot; 717w
Genre: Angst/Drama
Summary: Jounouchi dies (again), but this time in Kaiba's arms. And there's something terribly wrong with that scene.
Disclaimer: Don't own 'cept the plot. Prompt from October 6, 09 @ 31_days; They whisper, "Goodbye, goodbye," in a falling mist
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Rant/(Warnings): I decided to do a companion piece to this. So I re-posted the whole thing together. Now, this is not your average one-shot. I had no thoughts of plot or thorough characterization in mind when I wrote this. This is an introspective piece. It's supposed to be disjointed and fragment-like. I tend to write like this anyway. If you don't approve, you can look for your fairy-tale stories elsewhere! But otherwise, I hope some of you enjoy literary prose :)








I regret the moment we met
and the way you pretended.
I regret the sun that day,
its warmth so artificial,
and I regret the way pain
has taught me nothing.


~RSVP Regrets Only, Linda Pastan








Let's start at the end;
The autumn of my life (and you've gone ahead)



And together they whisper,





Jounouchi's hand feels ice cold in his grasp. He squeezes it as if his own warmth can somehow transfer into the numb fingers he's holding. His other hand is placed right over the--beating, (slow) beating--which beats crimson under his touch (and his own skips a beat for the person lying before him). There's something terribly wrong with this scene.


Cerulean blue meets chocolate brown through the drizzle in the air. They both try to blink away the blur (was it just the rain?). Don't tell me if I'm dying. A choked voice shatters the silence (and his heart). You're not going to die, he wants to say (but would that be lying?). Help is on the way, he tries again (but is it, really?). I won't miss you (of course not). That dies on his tongue too. So, he settles for, there's something terribly wrong with this scene.


A smile ghosts upon the other's face (the only warmth he managed to salvage). You can say that again. And the hand drops from his hold (everything within him plummets with it). The slight breeze carries with it nothing (but)--







'Goodbye, goodbye', in the falling mist.












---


 
 
Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color.

~Separation, W.S. Merwin








The beginning of the end;
The winter of my life (and somehow I've left you behind)



 
It's not 'goodbye' so much as it is 'see you later', but somehow he just knows that the other won't--




 
i.
Kaiba's staring down at him, one hand holding his in a tight grip (reassurance that this is real, perhaps). It feels strangely warm, but the heat doesn't seem to channel any further than his icy fingers. The only indication he's alive seems to be the fact that he's painting the road scarlet beneath him (but whether he's supposed to dye the ground this much, he isn't sure). There's something terribly wrong with this scene.



ii.
Chocolate brown meets cerulean blue through the drizzle in the air. Jounouchi blinks in time with his (slowing) pulse-- one, two, three, five (did it just skip one?). Inwardly, he's laughing at the irony of the situation. It feels like he's at the airport, about to depart for some long trip and he isn't sure how to (want to) say goodbye. I'll write, he jokes out loud. He's sure the--drip, drip--of the rain is laughing with him. To where? My dreams? The other rolls his eyes but humors him nonetheless (there's nothing else he can do). Yeah. Jounouchi breathes out, imagining piles of unsent letters and returned postcards (almost too many promises he's sure to fail to deliver). Idiot.



iii.
There's uncertain silence for a minute, then Kaiba continues (as if it's not a game anymore), Then make sure you leave a return address.



iv.
Neither says anything more for awhile after that (like that's all they really needed to hear). Jounouchi concentrates on breathing--a breath is but a breath still, that remains as one of two ties he has left on this world (the other is holding his hand). Don't tell me if I'm dying, he manages to croak. Because he won't be (he'll be stubborn to the end; being a gambler at heart, he's willing to throw in his last stake). There's something terribly wrong with this scene, Kaiba echoes his thoughts, and he smiles to that (one last miracle before the next beginning). You can say that again.



v.
Raindrops fall into his eyes and suddenly even blinking hurts (maybe he'll just rest them for awhile--only a while). I'll be okay, Kaiba. He tries to say something the other doesn't hear . I'll be okay. I'll just--








--be awake in a minute.













 
---


The beginning, at last;

(And the next time Jounouchi opens his eyes, he sees fresh cut lawn, sunshine after the rain, and a relieved smirk he still really wants to punch off Kaiba's face.)























other.


A/N: Watching Yu-Gi-Oh does strange things to me. So does piano music-- especially this. Questions? Sorry, but I don't have many answers. I can't specifically tell you the relationship between these two. My main purpose is an attempt at an introspective piece, so there isn't enough of a plot to establish any sort of relationship. It's about how YOU look at it--brothers, best friends, acquaintances, rivals or lovers. I've never written these two together either, but they have interesting dynamics! :)


Comments are appreciated as always (even if you don't know the fandom) ♥ :)
 
 
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❝ D58 ❞lavenie_2619 on July 17th, 2010 01:54 pm (UTC)
o____o
honestly, I never watch Yu-Gi-Oh so I don't know how Kaiba and Jounouchi looks like *pouts* I'm going to look for them :3 lol!
overall xD I love your writing~ easy for me to imagine when I'm reading it ^^
two thumbs up from me (^o^)V
코니: [Lego] Lovekonnistique on July 17th, 2010 01:55 pm (UTC)
I love you so much, Dee :) You're always so supportive of my writing ♥ I hope you'll write again one day!
❝ D58 ❞lavenie_2619 on July 17th, 2010 02:03 pm (UTC)
Because your writing is so cute!
D: ... not cute but urmph! you know.. aish, I don't know how to describe it >..<
/head desk
lol! I'm sure I'll write again (: thanks Connie x3
코니: [Naruto] Sasuke/Narutokonnistique on July 17th, 2010 03:01 pm (UTC)
Haha, I wouldn't call it cute either. Some have called it poetic and poignant though.
(Honestly, Kaiba and Jounouchi remind me of Sasuke and Naruto. In a modern sort of way)
♥!
Animom: Nuryev Kaiba cropanimom on July 17th, 2010 05:22 pm (UTC)
Quite lovely - delicate and emotional.

And the part that pulled the thread on my tears, within the context of reading this? The Merwin quote.

(Kaiba and Jou remind me of Iason and Riki.)
코니: [Yugioh: DM] Kaiba Seto (3)konnistique on July 18th, 2010 12:40 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading, and the lovely comment :) I found that quote kind of fitting for the scene and the emotional build-ups too ♥

(Never thought of that, but that's a good comparison too!)
thewrathofpookythewrathofpooky on July 18th, 2010 05:49 am (UTC)
i love your style of writing. The characters were wonderfully in character despite the circumstance and the writing was beautiful :)
코니: [Yugioh: DM] Yami Yuugikonnistique on July 18th, 2010 07:54 am (UTC)
Aw thank you so much! I'm really glad you think they were IC because I've never really written them before :) Thank you for the lovely words, they made my day! ♥
Joey Pacheco: Bondage time!blondewolf2 on July 18th, 2010 05:06 pm (UTC)
poor Joey.... his end comes to a emotional death in his lovers arms...tat would of been sad in ta show.

T_T


I LOVE UR story!!!! and how u start from end, beginning and going around, makes the story more interesting and makes u think about the story more!
코니: [Yugioh: DM] Kaiba Setokonnistique on July 19th, 2010 12:28 am (UTC)
I definitely like the scene myself :) It's more harder to write than I thought though. Thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

But here's a question for you: are you very sure Joey 'died'? :) (The ending is just too open for a definite conclusion to be made, so either way is acceptable to think!)
Katharina: REIRA OH I SEE 'O'__katreusaki on July 18th, 2010 11:45 pm (UTC)
That was powerful. Went right through my chest. I liked that. I liked it a lot.
코니: [misc] mwahahakonnistique on July 19th, 2010 12:30 am (UTC)
I'm really happy you think so! I think it's a 'hit-or-miss' with most people, but then there are wonderful people like you ♥ Thank you so much for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! :)
dxlilithdxlilith on July 20th, 2010 02:36 pm (UTC)
wow. this is a beautiful piece. you don't really need to elaborate or characterize, even if you changed the names altogether. in so few words you establish their relationship, their remorse, and even their sense of humor. lovely, absolutely lovely.
코니: [Lee Hyori] Smilekonnistique on July 20th, 2010 03:43 pm (UTC)
And this is a beautiful comment, seriously! You've managed to understand what I've wanted to achieve with as little words as I could. Thank you, you've really made my day ♥!
dxlilith: needdxlilith on July 20th, 2010 04:12 pm (UTC)
your welcome dear ^_^
yummy_dreamsyummy_dreams on July 22nd, 2010 11:39 am (UTC)
I liked this oneshot - and I have never watched Yu-Gi-Oh (I don't think I have the slightest idea what it is! Except it is animation). But your writing is awesome to be able to draw me in. Sad but quite beautifully written.
yummy_dreamsyummy_dreams on July 22nd, 2010 11:46 am (UTC)
Sorry to post twice! But the music link you gave was really nice too... I remember this music played in one of the saddest moments in a rather bleak trilogy (Infernal affairs).
코니: [Yugioh: DM] Siegfried von Schroiderkonnistique on July 22nd, 2010 01:29 pm (UTC)
Wow. I don't even know how to describe the way your comment made me feel. It's one thing to have someone enjoy my writings when they know the fandom, but another entirely when they don't. Thank you so much for your words, you don't even know how much I appreciate the comment ♥

(And yes, the song IS from Infernal Affairs!)